thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
