Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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