week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
