he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
