it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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