TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
