this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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