It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
