i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
