I smell stomach acid.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
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If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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