Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
