So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
