Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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