Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
