My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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