"it" just moved
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize