she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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