i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We just shotgunned beers for America
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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