Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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