Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
