Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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