seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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