im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize