i think my mom watched the whole time
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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