Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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