I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
