I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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