btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Terrible idea I love it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
