Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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