Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
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So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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