and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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