if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
