don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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