Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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