i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
