Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
