Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
