You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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