Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
