im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
