It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think my mom watched the whole time
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
