I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
