you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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