the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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