Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
