thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
