i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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