omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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