So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
and she was petting her beer can
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
