Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
