he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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