Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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