do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
