their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
