I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
