I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
