How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Four minutes until I can fart!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
