Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize